I went on the terrace tonite,
had heard about mars being visible from the earth...
i'm not sure if what i saw was mars,
but it felt lovely to see the blanket of the sky
once again, after a long time.
dotted with twinkling stars,
shining,some more than the others...
it was awesome,it was serene..
it felt like heaven.
i went on a ride,
each star trying to send its message..
some stars were naughty,
some were shy,
some were quiet,i didnt even wonder y..

then i saw the moon.
big and not so bright as the stars,
it has made its own space in the sky,
chanda 'mama' seemed so relaxed...

my idea of a perfectly relaxed evening,
is to lie under the nite sky on a hilltop,
with my pal at my side,
and we watch the day come to an end.

i want to go up there,
i want to get a feel of the big universe.

she sat by the window,
a cool breeze wafted thru the nite,
it entangled her hair,
she was enjoying the playful mood of the night,
it reminded her of the time spent with him.

I am all crouched up,
like the hen about to be butchered.
I am scared.

What is my problem?
I think too much.
I allow things to overweigh my mind.

I m the problem
and i hold the key,
yet i refuse to unlock it...

mood swings,everybody has them,
but i've made them a habit,

I get angry at myself,
I think non stop..
little things upset me too soon
how can i let this all happen?
when i m the one who has the reins,
but i let the horses loose,
and then run madly behind them..

parting

The moon light bathing on her spotless face said it all,
there was a hurt look in her eyes,
face taut,lashes hot and wet...
I was going to leave her.
'cant u take me along'
I loved her too much to hurt her more
I just looked at her side
The features fit her like strokes of a brush on a plain sheet.

she moved,now face to face
what could I tell her
There was nothing to say
oue eyes peering into each other's souls

Mine was all crouched up inside,
hers was all eager.
I looked away,didnt have enough left in me to answer her.
"I have to leave"
I didnt want to make false promises
so i couldnt even say,"I'll be back".

emotions passing by like clouds rushing thru the night
going where?
coming from where?
nohing known.....just rushing past.

I hugged her,praying silently,
"please dont let this be the last time"
I held her for what I wished to be like,countless minutes
her silky brown hair smelling like freshly baked bread,
as fresh as the morning sky
I was taking deep breaths
wanting to take capture and take away all those moments...
we parted.

dawn was approaching,
it was time.
I bid goodbye,picked up my bag
and looked back once again
she had turned away
I walked out and hailed a cab.

aaj jab waqt lamha de raha hai,
na jaane kyun ghabrahat ho rahi hai,

aaj jab sitara chamak raha hai,
na jaane kyun aasma khush nahi,

aaj jab paani baras raha hai,
na jaane kyun pyaas bhuj gayi hai.

she was deathly pale by the time he reached there,
her palms lay motionless beside her,
her fingers still,just as the nurse had left them,
she looked like a princess in deep slumber,
calmness and serenity hovered all around her,
she looked so beautiful....not even a stir.

was he late?
how much time did she have,rather he have with her?
parhaps,as long as she struggled with it...
death was pounding on her doors
and she was fighting it,
asking for another day...
no. another hour,another minute...or maybe few moments?
she had to see him before going...

but she lost the battle of life,
and then,it was over,
for her.
but for him?
he stared infinitely unto infinity.
she was gone.
was she scared?
he wasnt even there to make it easy.
or atleast make it less difficult.

why on earth,did HE put emotions?
if only to be hurt,only to be pricked?
why such a sweet gift close to her b'day
perhaps they wanted her to celebrate in heaven

by now, he was too numb to be pricked,
all he could see in front of his eyes,
were the good times of their life.

she was so bold and smart,
and so different from the rest
but she was...
and she no longer is
hot tears glided down his cheeks
he looked at her longingly
he wanted to take her in his arms,
but death had reached her before he did.

he turned to leave,
his feet struck firmly to ground
he had promised to be by her side....always.
and now, he couldnt keep it
unless he too....

no, love is eternel
he neednt cross any boundaries
and anyway, he knew it,however hard he tried,
he was dead inside.
so either ways,he was with her...

in aankhon ki nami na jane kya dikha de,
in palko ki jhukawat na jane kya kah jaye,
is chehare ki khamoshi na jane kya kar jaye
koi humko bataye....